Aaaahhhhaha, hahahaha, aahaha, ha

My girlfriend and I opted for comedy last Friday and it turned out to be a good choice. We looked up the schedule in the Seattle Weekly and chose the Comedy Underground near Pioneer Square. The place was almost full but we managed to get decent seats 15 feet from the center of the stage.

The first guy--we forgot his name--talked mostly about differences between eastern Washington and Seattle on the Iraq issue. His bumper sticker changed from "Bring back the troops" to "I support our troops" to "Send our troops to Iraq". Something along those lines (as you can see, or will shortly see, telling good jokes is not my speciality:-).

The next act was Tina Kim (pictured above). She had some really funny jokes about her Korean mother. What I remember most is her story about being short on cash and going on Craigslist where a guy offered to buy her underwear for $300. She met him, paid her the dough, but then never wrote back. So she's thinking, what the hell, why isn't this guy writing back? What did he think of my underwear? So she ended up writing to him. He finally answered that it didn't enough. Something along those lines...

The next guy, Jim Short (pictured above), an Australian living in San Francisco, was the funniest (my girlfriend preferred Tina Kim). Honestly, I don't remember any of his jokes, I just know that I was laughing hysterically. True, I already had three beers by the middle of his show, but my judgement is known to be... judicious when under the influence. Wait, wait, I got one: he used to live in Texas and he told people he was from Australia. They'd say, that's like in England, right? Pretty close, only it's about a hemisphere away. Something along those lines...

I almost forgot (again): our waitress was a blond-haired stuck-up bitch! She'd first tell us to watch our chairs because they were (supposedly) blocking her path to other customers. Then when she took our order she'd get down on her knees so as to give the impression that she was paying close attention to our needs, and to show off her breasts (nothing special) in hope of a bigger tip from me. Then she charged as $32 for 4 beers and one dirty vodka martini. She said the martini was $12 because it was a double shot. I didn't contest the charge and actually gave her a tip. My girlfriend was asking why did you give her a tip? I said it was only $4. That's over 10%, she said. Then I realized my folly: the bitch had successfully worked her tricks on me!

I plan on going back because the comedy is great, so blond-hair bitch: that ain't gonna work again. In the words of George W. Bush, "Fool me once, shame on.... shame on you."